So I am pretty much obsessed with the TV show Millionaire Matchmaker. Patty Stanger is a goddess, and mark my words...I will apply to the millionaire's club within the next few years. From Patty Stanger (and much personal experience) I have definitely learned what I DO want and DON'T want in a relationship. These are what Patty calls your 5 non-negotiables.
Your non-negotiables are a list of 5 things that you MUST have in your next relationship. No questions asked. Non-negotiable. This list isn't meant for petty things such as looks or preferences....those are WANTS. (Ex: I would loooove a guy with blue eyes, who is over 6 feet, ripped, sexy, and rich...). Of course we all want those things...but they aren't really what is important.
This list is meant for qualities in your partner that you and you alone NEED to feel fulfilled and have a successful, healthy, and loving relationship. (Don't get this list confused with the list of healthy qualities that every relationship needs...such loyalty, respect, and trust, etc.)
Every girl and guy should have one of these. Weeding out that special someone would be so much easier if we didn't budge on our non-negotiables.
I'm single as a dollar, and I'm not looking for change right now. But...I now have my 5 non-negotiables, and they will be put to good use when the time comes.
So take notes fellas.
1. Christian- Above all else...this is the most important. I need a man who is on the same spiritual page with me. I want our relationship to resemble Christ and the Church's. I need him to be willing to make sacrifices (just as Jesus did) for our relationship and a future family. Number one covers a lot of bases. Because having a Christian man includes many many pluses.
2. Funny- I need funny. He doesn't have to be Dane Cook or anything, but I just need him to be able to make me laugh. I get stressed way too easily, and I need a man who can balance me out. I don't know why...but I just think funny is sexy... and sexual attraction is also important, eh?
3. Laid back- I need a man who can roll with the punches. I need someone who can just laugh it off when all the crappy things in life happen. I can't handle a stressed-out high conflict dude who lets little things ruin his whole day and our good time. I also need him to be laid back about me doing my thaaaang. Meaning if I wanna go on a trip to Charleston with my girls... he is thrilled that I get the opportunity to go, and he happily sends me on my merry way! (And I would do the same for him.)
4. Passionate about Life- I need a man who is passionate about life. And about me, of course. (And about Jesus...but we covered that one in #1). I need him to have something he loves to do and wishes to pursue (AKA he needs a life direction)! Whether it be snowboarding, rugby, cooking, traveling, or puppets (omg...Jason Segel...I love you)! I need him to be passionate about living life to the fullest and spending time with what he loves (including me...duh). And If a man is passionate about life this means he has a sense of adventure, and I definitely need adventure. Adventure helps to keep love alive, and helps to keep life fun!
5. Healthy- Physical health is very important... considering I don't want the man I love to croak because of his obesity problem. But there's more than physical health. I want him to be healthy and well mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Mentally meaning I need him to be self confident and happy with who he is and what he does. I need him to have spiritual health so he cherishes the meaning of life and revels in each day we are given together. Lastly, I need him to be emotionally healthy. By this I mean I need him to be able to healthily display his emotions (no bad tempers), embrace them, and be able to share them with one another.
(note: non-negotaiables can change over time...depending on your needs and experiences)
So there they are ladies and gentlemen. My non-negotiables.
Get some of your own. I promise it will make relationships so much easier.
And remember...they are non-negotiable. So don't settle.